Dear [redacted],

I don't know what to say. And I know I'm pulling a Lara Jean. But these are therapeutic.

I have this letter open. I know that you will never read it and yet ... I'm still scared to write anything.

I'm scared that if I write anything with substance I will never get over you.

And I need to get over you. I do.

I am almost positive that you don't like me and never will. So, I hope this letter helps me sort out my feelings. 

Okay. If I start with why I like you, I can get to why it'll never work.

I.

I like your smile, how it lights up your face and crinkles around your eyes.

I like your facial hair even if you did have that dinky little Maverik mustache a while back.

I like your willingness to serve. You don't just say yes, you actively look for opportunities.

I like how hardworking  you are. Really, you are always in your spot studing.

I like how you are unafraid to fully embrace who you are. How much you love God.

II.

It will never work. You are too happy, too pure.

It will never work! For someone so sure of yourself, you deserve someone just as sure.

It probably will never work. You need someone as caring and selfless as you are.

It won't work. I give up too easily. 

It can't work. I don't deserve to be loved by you.

III.

I wish that this worked. 

I wish that when I wrote out what I liked I wrote out all of my attraction to you.

There are more thoughts running through my head but I'm scared to write them.

If this is meant to work it will.

So, it won't work out.

j.h.